If you’re Catholic you may know that it’s Natural Family Planning week. It’s one of those touchy subjects that when discussed can elicit very emotional responses. So, rest assured, I seek not to offend anyone. I would only like to share a story that helps illustrate why I’m thankful for the Catholic Church’s teaching on being open to life.
Five and a half years ago our son Theo, our second child, was born. With the birth of our second child we had our perfect family of four with one girl and one boy. Most of America would say well, now you have one of each so you’re done, right? And honestly, at that point, a big part of me would have agreed.
My husband and I were already open to NFP, practicing it pretty faithfully. I think we were both a bit nervous to have more than two kids. But then, I had a reversion experience that shifted my thinking. And I felt this insistent urging from the Holy Spirit that we really needed to be more open to life and I shared that with my husband.
A couple months later, I found out that I was pregnant. It was one of those surprises that was, in fact, not THAT surprising. I’m sure many of you understand!
At the time that I became pregnant with our third baby, my oldest child, Felicity, was three years old and Theo was a little over a year old. It was shortly after becoming pregnant that we started recognizing that Theo had some developmental and speech delays. Therapies began, labels were considered and life became very challenging all while a new little person grew within me.
I remember asking God quite frequently, why did you send me this urging for another child when I am clearly overwhelmed with having a child with some special needs? But, deep inside, I knew that I needed to just trust God and have faith that it would eventually make sense.
During that third pregnancy I went to the adoration chapel every Tuesday night and usually meditated on the sorrowful mysteries of the rosary. For some reason I always pondered longer on the fourth mystery in which Simon helps Jesus carry his cross. I think because of that, the name Simon started to grow on me. Coincidentally, it was a name that my husband had always liked and one that I had vetoed during my previous pregnancies.
When we named our third child Simon we had no idea that he and his older sister would be helping their brother carry a cross. Simon was about nine months old when Theo was diagnosed with autism and then later with apraxia of speech. And now, nearly three years later, both Simon and Felicity are like mini therapists without even trying as they very naturally model to Theo how to play and talk.
Simon is only three years old and is often the one to ask Theo if he has “remembered to bring his Talker”, the communication device. At times, Simon even carries the Talker for Theo, almost literally helping him carry his cross.
Although they fight quite frequently, Simon is Theo’s best friend. And if not for Simon, I wonder if Theo would be quite as confident as he has become with his emerging speech. Simon always understands what Theo is trying to say, even when no else does. It’s amazing. And that simple affirmation of being understood encourages Theo to keep trying to talk.
It was scary for both me and my husband to be expecting another child as we were finding out that Theo was going to have some significant challenges. But God was there the whole time with a plan. We just had to be open to life to participate in that plan.
We are at a place right now where we don’t think that more children are in God’s current plan for us. Of course, there’s no way to know if we are hearing that message correctly. But that’s the beauty of NFP. Next month we could hear something different and the path to new life will be open if we choose to take it.
Happily Struggling 